Sweetly Sadistic. Is It an Oxymoron?

It’s funny (not funny ha ha but more funny disappointing) how during this arduous search for my one I’ve come across so many that seem to only want to communicate with certain parts of me.

I’ve had those that are simply looking to be owned, under the harshest of circumstances. Kept as a full time servant and beaten with regularity, treated as a thing and given no kindness.

Others that wish to be kept as a cuckold husband in chastity, with only their mouths and holes being used for pleasure by myself or those I choose. My husband would happily support me having as many lovers as I choose while he is kept chaste.

I’ve been approached by people bragging about being “K-9 bitch boys” and wanting to eat shit on cam and pay me to watch them do it. Even though it states on my profile specifically that if either of those two things are mentioned, they will get blocked. No passing go. No collecting $200. The block button has been a good friend as of late. I could literally retire and spend my days creating my art and beating boys to my hearts content and live very well without ever having to punch a clock ever again, if I chose to do so.

I’ve even been approached by people asking for me to eventually “end” them. Now, I do describe myself sometimes as Dexter without the killing but honestly, why would I want to do something like that? I’m fascinated by fear play and taking my partner to the edge over and over again and that takes a tremendous amount of trust. I don’t break my toys. I will hurt you, I’ll never harm you. That being said I did get a very enticing offer recently to castrate someone though his request and my option were completely different. I am not a surgeon and have no desire to cut someone open, but I did find this handy device and it is now in my collection.

I ask people who are interested in me to read this blog, simply because it gives folks that are seriously interested in me an opportunity to get a peek into how I navigate my world. Activities that the Muggles would be horrified by; I simply refer to as “Because it’s Tuesday”. Yes, I do very much enjoy extremely dark activities, but I counterbalance that with my day to day. My home is bright and cheerful. I do volunteer work including making life castings for friends with family members in Hospice. Eventually I hope to be able to buy a piece of land and rescue animals and foster, with a special interest in elderly dogs. I work in a corporate setting but my true love is art and my professional goal is to be able to transition myself into a full time artist; and be able to offer my Hospice life castings on a more consistent basis.

My biggest personal goal is to get back on track in regards to my physical fitness. While I do walk daily during my lunch break at work and work out three mornings a week before work I’ve done really well in a very regimented workout and meal plan in the past and wish to get back into it; but it’s hard to get motivated to do it alone.

I’m fully aware this blog entry is quite the snoozer compared to a lot of the others but it’s important that potential suitors recognize and speak to me as a whole person. I’m way more than the Sadist who gets off on hearing her lover scream. I’m not just the kinky chick that enjoys bending her man over on a regular and pounding him with her fat cock that she wears with nothing but a t-shirt on the weekends. Nor the future wife that will keep him naked in front of her girlfriends and let them fuck him mercilessly as well when she’s feeling particularly generous. I read a profile recently and the gentleman stated he was looking for a woman who was “clit-centric” and that very much describes me. I generally refer to it as a girlie boner and as I typically masturbate on a daily basis, servicing me would become part of the routine because when the girlie boner gets activated; I’m like a teenage boy. The whole fucking world stops until I have an orgasm. That could mean a variety of things to my partner from mouth to the use of his cock, or I could strap on mine and happily fill him while continuing to work myself up and figure out the end result later, which may or may not include an orgasm for him.

Oh yeah. I do enjoy tease and denial. I also enjoy playing around with chastity but haven’t had much of an opportunity to explore there.

My point is this: it’s the full package, or it’s nothing. I’m the one who wants someone by her side for all of the mundane day to day that a full time relationship/marriage requires as well as all of the depravity that the kink side encompasses. With me, there is no singular way, I enjoy sex, sensuality and sadism in all of it’s many forms and I’m happy to explore these with the right person. I’m not seeking my right now, I’m searching for the total package, who wants a total package as well.

It’s not all about me, it’s about balance. It’s about finding the perfect dance partner who is confident and capable enough to slay the dragons but who also finds solace at the feet of his partner. I want to be his biggest supporter, the person he relies on for strength and comfort, love and pain. The one who breaks him; and the one who rebuilds. My world is full of laughter and love but is also colored with darkness and depravity and I have been very successful with being able to fluidly travel within it’s various nuances. I am the woman who would accompany you to a stuffy corporate awards meeting and would be smiling deviously as you’re taking the podium to speak in front of hundreds of people; because my finger would be poised on the remote control that is connected to the large bluetooth enabled plug that is firmly positioned inside your rectum awaiting discharge. At every moment of every day you would be aware of who you were to me, and how very cherished and valued and owned you are.

Oh and one final goal I’d like to mention. I’ve had several people tell me they think I should write a book, but as I literally have the attention span of a fruit fly I’d need someone to help me stay on track. I’ve found the perfect device to help me do this, now I just need a volunteer to build a more comfortable (for me) and slightly modified for writing version and who is willing and able to be in this position for hours at a time.

Interested parties, please feel free to contact me.

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