Testing For Durability.

  Hi.  New guy here again.  It’s been almost 2 weeks that we’ve been together, practically every day.  My apartment, an hour away, is now secure and remotely monitored during this pandemic.  One week after Bella and I met I was (not unexpectedly) informed that I’d have a 2 month furlough from work.  Subsequently, I’ve been o̶r̶d̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ invited to self isolate at Casa Bella. I was hoping she’d ask. It’s the only good thing coming out of this self quarantine. Every day we’re together is a gift.  (Hey, I see that eyeroll. Just be happy for us, will ya?).

  So, if you live on planet Earth you’ve undoubtedly watched at least 1 episode of the 1966 version of the Batman TV show.  “Pow.  Bam. Ooof.  Zing”  Those comical sound effect balloons would pop up after a thrown punch connected with its target.  Those weren’t the noises I heard the second time I was given discipline for disobeying orders.  Now would be a good time to get that bowl of popcorn.

  So, after what can only be described as 3 days of “Oh, this is what happy feels like”  I returned to my home.  Before I left I was given VERY specific instructions to not masturbate.  “No cumming for you, mister! Not till you come back. Edge all you want, but no orgasms.”  Which was going to be 4 days away. No Problem!

Things didn’t go according to plan.

3 nights later we’re chatting away on the phone…

 “Did you masturbate?”

“Yes, yes I did.”

 “What did I tell you? Now you get punished for doing exactly what I told you not to do”.  

 Her tone was not loud, her cadence not flustered.  But fuck me if I didn’t hear that sleeping giant wake right up.  Uh oh…

  I didn’t realize there would be actual punishment, but I wasn’t against the idea, either.  I mean, it’s been so long since I’ve had actual physical discipline. I kinda liked the idea of a refresher course. 

 It’s not easy being naive.  Fun, endearing even, but not easy.  

  So, the plan was for me to arrive at her house (I was given my own passcode and her dog loves me by now) while she was at work and to wait patiently until she came home. Don’t say “Hello”, don’t kiss, don’t hug.  I’d be ushered into the bedroom where I would strip, bend over the bed with my forehead on the mattress and my ass in the air and receive a 5 stroke paddling. Count off after each time the paddle connects, don’t lift my head off the mattress because that would just add more strokes.  Afterwards we could be our loving selves but no aftercare until I was disciplined. I will freely admit I was a little turned on by the whole thought. 

I drive to her house, walk in, sit on the couch, cuddle with the dog and wait.  Nervously, excitedly. I’m in uncharted territory and I’ll worry about finding a cartographer later.  How will this feel?  How much pain can I take?  Do I actually want this? Oh, the door is unlocking!  She’s home! Let’s do this!  I stand up and I’m all sorts of excited. 

What, what’s happening here?  Who the fuck just walked in the door?

I shit you not, a striking brunette looking like something out of a 1950s detective novel walks in the door. Sunglasses, make up, dark dress, handbag, seductive hair.  What in the good godamn have I gotten myself into here?

Now it’s suddenly awkward and she’s staring at me and I smile nervously, rise from the couch and here we go.

 “Hi, I’m… Bella’s friend, just… waiting… cause she’ll be here soon…”  

I really don’t remember what was said exactly.  The moment was a little tense and I’m pretty sure I remained calm-ish.  She looked through me while smiling and said that I could be anyone, she didn’t know I’d be there and was not entirely cool with a stranger in the house.  I came back with “Whatever you need to do to confirm what I’m saying”. Brunette is increasingly freaked out and has her back pressed up against the door in a way that tells me the situation is becoming agitated and tense.  “I’m just gonna reach into my purse…” I thought for sure she was reaching for a gun and I’d have some explaining to do…

The body language changed on a dime and genuine laugh followed.   “I’m just fucking with you. Bella told me you’d be here and said I could give you the once over”.  The whole scene played out in about 20 seconds but it felt like 3 hours in a cold room. She’s a good friend of Bella’s and we had the “so tell me about yourself” type conversation non stop till she came home.  I was subtly applauded for handling the situation with grace after the fact. 10 minutes later Bella walks in and I rise to greet her but maintain a polite distance. Brunette and Bella compared notes about me for a few minutes enthusiastically (I’m in the room here, ladies!). 

Goodbyes were said and now I’m in the bedroom in position one.  I’m reminded of why I’m there, what’s about to happen and why this won’t happen again.  Because it’s my first infraction I have the luxury of being disciplined with a lucite paddle.  Thin, lightweight, not really intimidating. “Oh, this will be fun” I think. Fun. That first sting across my naked ass was a genuine knock at the door of what lies ahead.  It hurt, it was loud, it was a little humiliating, it was definitely deserved. I knew exactly what I did while I was doing it and this is what happens when I don’t listen. I thought it would be a lot worse and it was made clear Bella went easy on me.  “Thank you, it won’t happen again.”

It happened again.  

  My introduction to paddling was apparently a gateway drug.  A Red Brand Trailer to a movie I’ve been wanting to see. A few days later we kicked things up a notch.  I was introduced to a few friends. The nerf bat, the crop, the…whatever that thing is called and the fucking wooden paddle.  What happened in that brief, fun, playful and enlightening session isn’t important. What is important is that my eyes are slowly beginning to open as intended.

  Now, the charge for the crime is up for debate.  Fun fact: I’m 𝗉̶𝗎̶𝗌̶𝗁̶𝗂̶𝗇̶𝗀̶ 𝟧̶𝟢̶ a 200 year old sasquatch and the tops of my ears have enough hair growth to warrant regular shaving.  Nobody wants to see hair on your ears, right? I’m no savage, you have standards, please pass the razor. Bella suggested I leave them alone and she’d wax them.  I enthusiastically agreed. And then, somewhat absent mindedly, I shaved them a few days later out of habit. And a clear lack of understanding of how waxing works.  Major no no. “I told you not to shave them. You didn’t listen. Now you get the wooden paddle and it’s 10 strokes, not 5”  

I really didn’t feel this was fair, and over the next 26 hours that feeling of injustice evolved into something I didn’t see coming.  

“Pow.  Bam. Ooof.  Zing.”

   Bella and I had our usual morning cuddle fest the following morning after the morning alarm went off.  As she dressed for work she reminded me in a deliberate, measured voice that we’ll be addressing my disobedience.  The text she sent 2 hours later was matter of fact; she’ll come home after work and go straight to the shower. I’ll be waiting naked, forehead on mattress, arms outstretched, feet on floor this time.  Wooden paddle.  “Wooden paddle? Wooden paddle hurt!.  Wooden paddle not fun pain, only pain pain.  Me no like this” said my inner sad caveman that doesn’t understand the modern world.

  “Just wait till your father gets home” was something I hated hearing as a boy and something I really didn’t like thinking about as a man.  I made it this far avoiding drama and bullshit because I don’t like feeling negative emotion and because I don’t make mistakes that impact anyone.  Yet here I was, my brain bathing in the chemicals it produces when you have a major conflict on the horizon. I kept myself busy the whole day doing the type of things you do on a day off and you’re tired of looking at things that need tending to.  All the busy work couldn’t stop me from thinking about my fate.  I didn’t like it.  I really did not like this feeling of impending doom or helplessness.   Of inevitable discomfort. Of basically fucking up and now having to face consequences I didn’t think I deserved.  “This is fucking bullshit.  Sigh…Let’s just see how it goes.  Get it over with. Maybe my feelings will change one way or the other.  I signed up for this and I trust her. It’s a lesson on many levels. Fuck, this is gonna suck”.  I felt like a rodent frantically trying to escape a self closing trap. “This is what panic feels like.”

I didn’t get the usual phone call from Bella on her way home from work.  This was done on purpose. More reflection. More anticipation. More panic and woe.  And she didn’t have to lift a finger. Clever girl.

I couldn’t look her in the eyes when she walked in the door, a first.  Pleasantries were barely exchanged, the opposite of our normal. Things were feeling worse by the second.  “I really don’t like this”  Shower started, I stripped and assumed position one.  The wooden paddle already on the bed. 2” thick, compact size, nicely stained.  Clearly not a toy (but potentially a nice charcuterie board, I thought Plenty of room for meats AND cheeses.  “Fuck, I forgot to eat today…oh well”).

“Pow.  Bam. Ooof.  Zing. Ouch. OUCH.  FUCK!! (inteligible scream)

I had to remind myself that this is actually what I wanted, what I signed up for.  I shouldn’t be surprised. This will hurt, and then her aftercare would bring me back to earth.  “Let’s do this!  Who knows, it might awaken something I like?”

That thought lasted all of 1 second.  Relentless, unforgiving wood connecting with one already bruised ass cheek (bruised from a kinder, more playful session a few days earlier) and now I’m mad.  “Mad? Why am I mad?  What’s happening here?”  The second through 10th strike produced a pain I’m wholly unfamiliar with and my screams counting off  those remaining numbers had a voice so filled with rage I’m surprised I didn’t lose consciousness. I haven’t felt like that since…wait…have I ever felt like that?  No.  I haven’t, and now I’m shaking from pain and rage and the feeling of helplessness. “I don’t like this…Do I understand this?  Negative reinforcement. Oh. I get it now…we’re training.”

  As expected, Bella came up lovingly and began to press her body against mine.  Arms still outstretched and face still firmly buried deep in the mattress I sharply say I’m not ready.  For once I don’t want to be touched. 10 seconds. 20 seconds. I’m coming back to Earth. 30 seconds. I open my eyes, all anger has dissipated.  Huh.  What the hell was that?  Did I like it? I think i liked it.  Not the pain, the lesson as a whole.  I shifted closer to her and let out a sigh“That really hurt.  I was so angry. I haven’t seen that guy before and I don’t like him.”  Bella reminded me that this wasn’t play and she didn’t like it either. Her soft strokes over my head trailing down to the sore spots.  The room is quiet. We’re back to normal. Lesson actually learned this time. 

 “What would you like to drink with dinner, my love?” 

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